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What is Pegging?

"Now in a long term (hetero) relationship, fancy spicing things up. Used to use anal toys a bit but that was years ago, every now and then have a fancy for them and have been reading about 'pegging'. Could you explain this (how it's different from a say an anal vibrator) and what would be the best way to broach the subject?"
Submitted by Carvaka Customer, Male, Straight, Happily Married

To "peg" a partner refers to the act of a lady penetrating a guy's anus using a strapon dildo.


Right in the Butt


Where Did the Term "Pegging" Come From?


American author and journalist Dan Savage created a poll to coin a phrase to describe the practice as to that point, no definitive term existed. "Pegging" won the poll in the end and so here we find ourselves purveyors of all things pegging!


Why Do Men Enjoy Pegging?


  • It stimulates their prostate which can feel immensely pleasurable and deliver more powerful orgasms than normal
  • Some men can actually climax through the act of pegging ie without any penis stimulation
  • They like to relinquish control to their female partner as part of a desire for experimentation into domination and submission
  • It's kinky and slightly taboo and this is appealing to many

Why Do Women Enjoy Pegging?


  • They want to experiment with an exchange of power and it's fantastic for roleplay.
  • It can deliver deeper intimacy and an extra dimension to her sex life
  • Strapless strapons (where the strapon sits inside the woman's vagina) means a woman can enjoy stimulation while she's penetrating her partner
  • It is something totally new which is sure to reinvigorate even the most stale of sex lives

Does a Man Liking Pegging Make Him Gay? #MythBuster


There is a common misconception that men who like to receive anal sex are gay. Obviously gay men are the experts on all things anal but from a physiological sense, all men, gay and straight, have prostates and stimulating the prostate feels pretty sensational regardless of your sexual orientation. The perception that engaging in pegging makes a man gay prevents many men from trying it in the first place which is a shame. So just to be totally clear: straight and gay men alike can enjoy anal sex and a straight (or bisexual) man can certainly thoroughly enjoy being pegged by a female partner.


From a Guy's Perspective - "I would Like to Try but Not Sure How To Broach the Subject?"


From a Guy's Perspective


The obvious concern when broaching the prospect of having your female partner penetrate you is that she will think you are gay. So just saying over dinner one evening "honey, I was wondering if there is any chance that you might roger me up the bum tonight?" will likely not be met with "certainly dear, that would be lovely." If you haven't had any anal adventures in your relationship to date, don't try to jump straight to pegging - see it as an end goal that you can get to over time.


Mention the Prostate & the P-Spot

During a discussion about sex, mention the prostate and that you never knew that, as women have g-spots, men actually have a p-spot. Say that it sounds exciting and that maybe your partner can try to stimulate it next time you are having sex. You are simply laying the groundwork here by explaining to your partner that prostate stimulation is pleasurable regardless of one's sexual orientation and that you are curious to learn more.


Start with Fingers

Start with Fingers

The ideal way to get started is with fingers while receiving a fellatio. While your partner is "down there", place her fingers on your anus; your previous discussion about the p-spot will mean that she knows that you are a hetero guy who wants some additional stimulation and nothing more. With the help of some lube, hopefully she will take your cue and insert a finger or two. Getting a BJ while the prostate is simultaneously stimulated is an earth shattering experience and will likely lead to a more intense climax than you have ever known. Your partner will see your extra excitement and will be delighted that she gave you such a mind blowing orgasm! After you have returned the favour, now is a good time to discuss the prostate in a bit more detail. "Wow, I honestly can't believe how good that felt - this P-Spot thing is real!" If your partner has a vibrtator or a dildo, you might even ask would she mind using that on you next time (making sure it has been thoroughly cleaned between uses of course!). You are easing your partner into the idea that stimulating you goes beyond just your penis.


Graduating to Anal Toys

If your partner is a little adventurous, she will be happy to try a dildo. Again, the best time to do this is during a fellatio and remember to use plenty of lube. The climaxes will even dial up a notch now as the dildo or vibrator will be more effective at stimulating the prostate than fingers. Your partner will see how much you are enjoying pressing this new pleasure button and be happy to be along for the ride, literally :-)

Other toys that might be worth trying before pegging would be butt plugs and/or anal beads. These introduce some anal fun into the mix without going as far as pegging. They can serve as a useful bridge on the road to becoming a pegging perfectionist.


Bridging the Gap to Pegging

If you've made it this far, progressing to pegging shouldn't be too big a jump. A nice way to broach this is to say to your partner that you looked online and saw that you can buy double ended dildos that allow your P-Spot to be stimulated at the same time as your partner's G-Spot - WIN / WIN! The final step is to convince your partner to try outright pegging but if you have gotten this far, clearly you have an adventurous partner who wants to please you and so it shouldn't be a problem.

One thing to remember though is that it won't be for everyone. Not every woman will want to nail their man up his bum; in fact, many won't. That's fine too! So try the above, see how far you get and be sure to let us know how you get on!


From a Woman's Perspective


From a Woman's Perspective


A lot of what applies to men broaching the subject also applies to women. So just to recap:

Broach the subject casually pointing out that straight men can enjoy prostate stimulation as much as gay men. While giving your partner a BJ, gently introduce a finger or two with the help of some lube'; most men will be enjoying themselves too much to even consider asking you to stop. If your partner is starting to enjoy anal play, progress to a dildo and ultimately to pegging. All the while focus on the fact that enjoying prostate stimulation is for gay and straight men and that your partner enjoying this type of play in no way undermines his masculinity or sexuality.


How to Have a Perfect Pegging Session

How to Have a Perfect Pegging Session


Once you've got the green light to kick off your pegging sesh, it's time to make sure that it's a fantastic experience from beginning to end. Ideally, an evening of pegging shouldn't be your guy's first time experiencing anal penetration; pegging works better when the anus is "trained" so do try to have done some butt play prior to the first "peg".

Butt plugs, prostate stimulators or even fingers or your tongue (rimming) could be a part of this "training" in the days, weeks or months leading up to your planned pegging soireé. Try some extra fun in the bedroom using your fingers while giving him a blowjob. The pleasure of the moment will be so great that he may well get carried away and is unlikely to call a halt to proceedings. If he is enjoying the simultaneous penis and anal stimulation (and he will be!), push a little deeper with your fingers until they are fully penetrating him. Don't go too far too soon as it is important that he is enjoying it and happy for you to go a little deeper.

Some men just won't be up for it and we need to respect that too - as with gals, anal isn't for everyone! But if he is starting to realise what he has been missing out on, now is the time to consider bringing him to a full climax while you simultaneously suck his penis and massage his prostate. We actually have a full guide on prostate massaging (sometimes known as "milking" the prostate) but basically to massage the prostate, simply leave the index and/or your middle finger inserted about an inch or two inside his anus and then massage by moving your fingers towards his stomach in a circular motion - this is virtually the same motion used to massage the G-spot in women. The climax should be more intense than usual and there can often be a "what the hell was that!" type of reaction. If you educate your partner on the pleasure of massaging the prostate and explain that this is what brought the climax to a new level, you may find that your suggestion of pegging may be given a little more consideration than would otherwise have been the case. All this prep' work will help to ensure that everything is comfortable and the sole focus is on the pursuit of sensational pleasure.


Tools

Tools


Obviously, for a pegging session, you will need a strapon in your collection of toys. A strapon is essentially a dildo that attaches to a harness. There are also toys called strapless strapons which as the name suggests, don't have a harness (or straps) and instead are secured through insertion of one end of the dildo into the woman's vagina. Strapless strapons would be more for an experienced pegger. We have many other strapons to choose from in different sizes and shapes and this is a perfect beginner strapon which we would recommend if you're a first time pegging participant. For a background to all things strapon, you can check out our dedicated strapon guide.


Preparation

If the whole area of anal sex is new to you, take a few minutes to read our ultimate guide to anal sex. If you don't have time to read the guide, here are the most important points.

As with any anal play, a little preparation can make the whole experience a little bit more pleasant for all involved! If you know in advance (not always possible I know!) that an anal adventure may be on the cards later that day, try to eat lightly and go to the loo well in advance of the sex session. For those of you who really want things spick and span down there, consider using an easy-to-use anal douche to give your anus its very own shower (we have a guide on using a douche for any beginners). So now that your bum (or your partner's) is good enough to eat (well we all enjoy a little bit of rimming every now and then!), you're ready to delve into the intriguing world of pegging.


Getting Harnessed Up

Most harnesses are measured by hip circumference including our range so if you look at the product specifications on each individual strapon page, you can choose one that fits your size best. Get yourself into your harness and adjust the straps until you feel totally comfortable. Take a moment to let your partner acknowledge the "look" of you with the strapon fully geared up; there might be some laughs but that's a good thing because it will lighten the mood and relax you both but there's a high likelihood that beyond the laughs, the thrill pleasure counter is starting to rev up at the sight of the strapon ready for action!


Lube

Lube

Remember that the anus, unlike the vagina, isn't self lubricating, so lube really is your friend here. A thick anal lube is best. Lube the toy (use water based lube if it's a silicone toy) and lube his anal entrance and lube your finger too and that leads us to the next stage...where the real fun begins!


The Entrance

We think the best route to entering your partner is to transition from a BJ to the missionary position with the man on his back. So when your partner is rock hard from your fellatio frollicks, move your tongue up his stomach onto his chest. The tip of the dildo will be rubbing against his anus at this point; use your hand to gently introduce just a few centimetres into him before removing again. Repeat this a few times with each insertion going a little deeper. The beauty of the missionary position with woman on top is that not only can she see her partner's face to judge when it's ok to go a little bit deeper but also, the penis can be simultaneously masturbated. Take your time and build your way up to full insertion. Thrust in and out gently, stroking his penis all the time. Build up the vigour of the thrusts until, all going well, you are pummelling him while you quickly masterbate his penis. Keeping going until climax and he will be left shivering and speechless as he tries to come to terms with the pleasure earthquake that has just enveloped his entire body. Congrats, you've just had your first pegging climax! Don't stop experimenting now though as there is plenty of uncharted territory to explore still in the form of different positions, each one adding a little something different to proceedings.


Try Different Positions

Try Different Positions



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