To get things started in terms of massaging the prostate, it’s important to know what you are dealing with and so this is where our guide comes in!
The prostate is a small gland in the male reproductive system and it is generally the size of a golf ball. It’s located below the bladder and in front of the rectum as indicated in the diagram below. It produces semen which is the fluid that carries sperm from the testicles upon ejaculation. While it has an obvious and important biological function, it is also something that can deliver an even more spectacular orgasm than normal, when stimulated correctly. The great thing is though, that not only will prostate stimulation result in an amazing climax, it also has a number of other ancillary benefits too!
1. Douche the Area This can be done using a douching tool which is specific for the task. It involves insertion of water into the anal passage to clear out any fecal matter that may exist. It’s a painless process but necessary to make the prostate massage experience pleasant and ensuring that nothing gets in the way.
2. Prepare the Tools If you plan on inserting a finger into your anus to locate your prostate or even if it’s your partner who will be doing the deed, ensure that they prepare their fingers. Tissue lining in the anal area is sensitive and can tear easily so it’s important that things like sharp, long or jagged nails are curtailed in some way to ensure they don’t injure the partner. If you plan on using a prostate massager it’s important to check that it’s loaded with batteries and that you are familiar with how to use it before getting started. By getting familiar with the tools you’re to use, it will help to make you more relaxed for “the main event”.
The anus doesn’t self lubricate but it is an area that is packed with nerve endings so while sensations upon stimulation will be pleasant, it is vitally important to include lube in the process. This will help to prevent any nasty tears of the area and make it all the more enjoyable. For this type of play, we recommend using a thicker lube than normal such as an anal specific lube.4. Foreplay
Don’t forget to add in some foreplay to the mix prior to heading straight for the prostate. You could simply ask your partner what he likes in terms of stimulation but in general, men who are up for prostate stimulation will enjoy having their bum cheeks caressed and stroked (win-win for everyone really!). You could also try fingering the anal entrance gently as a tease or prelude (if it’s solo play, you can always insert your own finger!).5. Massage Externally
It is possible to massage the prostate externally and this might be a good option for pure beginners to this type of play. When a man is aroused, his prostate naturally increases in size so if this is something that is done on a solo basis, you should lay back and relax as your arousal takes hold; at this point it might be a good idea to place a cock ring on the penis which will help to maintain the erection as you fumble about. You’re going to be able to externally access your prostate at the halfway point between your scrotum (the testicular area) and the anal entrance. At this point, get lubed up using a high quality water based option and use one hand to locate your hotspot and use the other hand to continue masturbation of your penis. Begin stimulating your “hotspot” by moving your fingers down and back, in the direction of your tailbone. You should locate a soft, but firm, spot and this is the prostate gland. Repeat by gently rubbing the prostate area until you sense that you're about to climax. When you feel close to the edge of orgasm, you should push a little harder and motion in a circular pattern in the “hotspot” area.
6. Hit the Spot Directly While it is possible to externally massage the prostate as described above, in order to hit the spot directly, you should incorporate a massager into proceedings as this will assist in your goal. These toys are ergonomically designed to fit the anal passage and reach the prostate for pinpoint stimulation. To use your massager, it’s advisable to first locate the P-spot with your finger in order to know where to direct the toy (everyone’s anatomy is different so you might not be able to reach all of your prostate). Obviously once you become more adept at it, you might not need to include the finger step. After inserting a lubed finger (or two if you’re feeling comfortable) you should locate the prostate which will feel like the size of a golf ball. Remove your fingers and pick up your choice of prostate stimulator and ensure it’s well lubed as already outlined above. Your choice of prostate stimulator should have a loop (or flared base) on the end in order to ensure easy removal (and thus peace of mind!). Once you slowly insert it, clench your bum cheeks, direct the device forward, allowing for contact with the prostate. If you have a vibrating stimulator, that will do the job for you once you have it in the correct position. Move through the different vibrating modes until you find one that you like. Non-vibrating prostate stimulators will also work but you will need to motion them to bring you to climax and this of course will take effort and you might not get it right the first time. Use the tool to stroke gently so that it’s comfortable and build the anticipation, stroking and motioning more intensely (but never thrusting the toy) when you feel ready for it.
Prostate massagers and vibrators are purpose made so it’s important to use one for prostate specific stimulation and not to use for example, a regular thrusting dildo. Prostate massagers should motion in circular or gentle movements and should not thrust as this can hurt or cause damage internally especially if you’re not used to this type of penetration.
It’s advisable not to share your sex toys and this is particularly the case with anal toys. Therefore, you should always clean your prostate massager following use; try a sex toy cleaner which is convenient and safe. Furthermore, if you do plan on sharing the toy, place a condom over it and discard after use as this will prevent the spread of any nasty infections.
Counterintuitively, larger prostate massagers tend to be better for beginners to this type of play as they help to locate the P-spot easier. The smaller the surface area of the stimulator, the more difficult it might be to find the prostate gland however smaller stimulators tend to provide a more intense experience so it’s something you can try with more experience.
As you gain more experience with prostate massage, you will likely be able to stimulate the area handsfree (with your toy) by working your P-spot muscles as described below.
You may have heard of the Kegel muscles in ladies and how important it is for them to work on strengthening their pelvic floor but men have these muscles too! Men will benefit from strengthening their pelvic floor as it will help to control urination and blood flow to the penis and it can also impact positively on orgasm! The good news is that it is easy to work those vital muscles and it simply involves clenching your bum cheeks and anus tightly (a similar motion to when you’re trying to suppress wind!). Do this a number of times, for example 20 reps a day and you’re on course to a stronger pelvic floor! The stronger these muscles are, the longer your orgasm will last plus you’ll be able to manipulate a massager once it’s inserted so handsfree orgasms via the prostate will be yours!