How to have Anal SexA Beginner’s Guide
What is Anal Sex?
Do Women Like Anal Sex?
In the male anatomy, the prostate gland is located right in front of the rectum, and it’s been proven to feel pleasurable when the prostate is stimulated via the anus. Women however don’t possess this gland but there are many nerve endings in the anal sphincter (of both sexes) that can feel incredibly arousing.
Furthermore, the wall between the vagina and the anal passage is thin therefore simultaneous anal and vaginal play can feel pleasant for some women and when stimulated simultaneously can work towards an orgasm. This of course would be helped along if clitoral stimulation was also included.
While this all might sound like a lot of work, you can incorporate the use of sex toys to help you out in achieving the orgasm. For example, a partner could try to stimulate the anal area while the receiver uses a vibrator on themselves in the clitoral area.
Tips for Amazing Anal Sex
Once you’ve used a butt plug and are comfortable with that you can move to some tentative anal fingering. Below are some anal fingering tips that will allow you to make your way towards trying full on anal and you’ll likely enjoy these anal foreplay techniques too so it’s a win-win!
- Begin with fingers and some water based lube. Because the anal area doesn’t self lubricate you should use more lubricant than normal to make it more comfortable; you can also buy anal specific lube.
- Relax and breathe slowly when your anus is penetrated with the finger; tensing up your muscles will not help the situation be more pleasant, it will of course have the opposite effect.
- Initially the anus should only be penetrated around the rim. That’s where most of the nerve endings are anyway and at the beginner stage you’re not ready for the full on inserted penetration which can feel very alien for the first time.
- Ask for the movements to be taken slowly and smoothly. Rapid movement of the finger like ladies enjoy for clitoral play isn’t the best idea at the outset of anal play.
- If your anal play is man to woman, guys should note that most women can’t come from anal stimulation alone but it can be used in conjunction with other foreplay like nipple or clit stimulation. Important note! Your partner should not use the same finger to stimulate the anus as the vagina as it can cause infection. Having a baby wipe closeby might be helpful to do a quick clean of the finger if they insist on using the same one.
Anal Sex Positions
Trying Out Anal: The Golden Rules!
- Indulge in lots of foreplay – it will be uncomfortable and futile if both of you aren’t turned on so take your time at the foreplay stage.
- Use finger play, licking, tongue, smaller vibrators etc as insertion tools before graduating to a penis being inserted into the anus.
- Use copious amounts of lubrication! The anus doesn’t produce any natural lubrication so you will need to keep topping it up to avoid the delicate tissues tearing and causing pain or injury.
- If possible, try to make it that YOU are in control of the initial penetration until your anus becomes more relaxed and accepts it fully. Only you, as the receiver will know when that moment is.
- Makes sure to empty your bowels before you begin and that you are clean before you start proceedings. Use a condom especially if he is a new partner.
- You might find that after the first time you have anal sex and have a bowel movement you are likely to pass a liquid mix of faeces, lubricant, and ejaculate (semen will only be there if you haven’t used a condom obviously). This is only temporary and signals that your body is getting rid of bodily fluids left over after sex and is totally normal. In some quarters this is referred to as ‘butt jelly’.
- Gaseous noises (i.e. passing wind) are normal during anal too because the thrusting action can force bubbles of air up into the colon and they are then expelled out of the body with likely noise effects afterwards.
- If you know that you are likely to be trying out anal later in that day, only eat lightly so that you don’t have an embarrassing incident mid-way through your session.
- However careful you play it or however much effort you put into your anal cleanliness, accidents can happen so if your guy gets some poop on the end of his penis, try not to get too upset or embarrassed. Anal play crosses this boundary so you need to be prepared for this happening. Have baby wipes close by to clean up any mess and move on. It’s unlikely to happen regularly but it is always a possibility.
- There are many lubricants on the market and some are specific to anal play. As a beginner for sure it’s not a good idea to use any type of lubricant that claims to numb the area as this may result in a person not realising they’re pushing their body too far as your sensation would be restricted.
- Excessive anal play can sometimes but rarely, lead to anal fissures though some people are more prone to this; all bodies are different of course. You should always be careful with your health but in this case your sexual health should be monitored so if you notice unusual anal bleeding, it’s important to visit a doctor or sex health clinic. A fissure is a tear in the delicate rectal lining and is treatable and usually clear up quickly but the danger is if they’re left unattended; this can cause infections so it’s vital to get them checked out by a medical professional.
Anal Play: Rimming - What is it?
Obviously this type of play requires the anal area to be very clean or it won’t be a pleasant experience for the person doing the rimming so refer to our anal douche section below or just ensure to thoroughly clean the anal area before trying this out.
While a hairy anal area doesn’t really interfere with actual anal sex proceedings, it is probably a good idea if you or your partner shaves the area for rimming if you’re a hairy individual as again this would make the rimming technique more pleasant for the person using their tongue.
- Get them to lay on their stomach, and proceed to massaging the cheeks of their bum.
- After a while, begin gently pulling their bum cheeks apart so the anus is exposed and your fingers are gradually getting closer to it.
- A nice tip here is to blindfold your partner to up the intensity and excitement.
- Make sure you as the giver of the rimming action are in a comfortable position in order to carry it out.
- Breathe and blow air around the area which in itself will stimulate and excite your partner.
- Use your tongue to lick, flick, rub and push against the general area, or you can make it stiff to penetrate, probe, tap and trace the anal rim.
- Kiss his cheeks and general area. Don’t be afraid to give his cheeks a little nibble of your teeth too!
- Use anti-bacterial mouthwash after you perform rimming to kill any harmful bacteria.
Anal Sex & Douching: What Should a Beginner Know?
It’s important that you don’t do this type of douching every day as you’re effectively washing away the protective layer of mucus from your rectal lining. This is present to help fight against nasty infections and to ensure your bodily functions work normally in that part of your body. If you’re prone to regular douching or as a beginner you plan on using this method regularly, it would be important to use condoms for anal play to help prevent nasty infections in the area. Also, don’t use chemical enemas or saline douche liquids marketed for vaginal use, as they can cause diarrhoea.
So now you are armed with all the knowledge that you need to go forth and conquer an exciting new territory... Good luck and enjoy the experience!