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Difficulty Ejaculating& Delayed Ejaculation

If you’re having difficulty ejaculating, it can be stressful, frustrating and worrying. Ejaculation difficulties means the process of ejaculating semen is impacted and the man finds it very difficult to ‘come’ even though he wants to and is receiving ample stimulation for this to occur.


Fact! Delayed ejaculation is the third most common sexual disorder for men after impotence and premature ejaculation.

Difficulty Ejaculating - The Causes?

Difficulty in ejaculating and delayed ejaculation can suddenly occur as an issue after previously having encountered no problems, or (less commonly) a guy may have always experienced it.

It can be a problem in all sexual encounters, or only in certain ones. For example, a guy might have no problems ejaculating when masturbating, but encounter difficulties ejaculating during sex. When ejaculation is isolated to only certain situations, there's generally a psychological cause.

Causes = Physical or Psychological or a Mixture of Both

Physical Factors Could Include:

  • Diabetes (usually only type 1)
  • Spinal cord injuries
  • Multiple Sclerosis
  • Bladder or prostate surgery
  • Increasing age
  • Some medicines can cause delayed/difficulty in ejaculation, including antidepressants, medications to treat high blood pressure eg beta-blockers, antipsychotics, muscle relaxants, powerful painkillers eg methadone

Psychological Factors Could Include:

  • Early sexual trauma
  • Strict upbringing
  • Relationship problems
  • Stress
  • Depression

Difficulty Ejaculating - Treatments

Difficulty Ejaculating - Treatments

There are currently no drug treatments to resolve a difficulty in ejaculating but rather treatment is done in the form of counselling or sex therapy. We of course recommend you visit a doctor when you have concerns about ejaculation as they can direct you to a recommended professional in this area.

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is used as a method of finding and addressing the main causes or contributing factors to an individual’s (or a couple’s) problems with sex. It can assist in improving intimacy, making people more confident sexually and define what an individual or couple want from their sex life and help them to communicate that clearly.

Some of the sex therapies that are recommended for something such as difficulty ejaculating this include:

  • Increase stimulation by viewing erotic content such as videos and imagery before having sex
  • Discussing erotic fantasies to add a new dimension
  • Incorporating the use of lubricants or gels to make sex more comfortable
  • Trying out adult toys such as vibrators to increase pleasure

American therapy experts have developed specific “behaviours” ie ways of helping the man to relax and 'let go' when he is with a partner. Once again, we stress that it’s always best to speak to your own doctor if you are personally experiencing ejaculation difficulties as we at Carvaka are not medical professionals but it’s no harm in being informed on what the possible treatments are in terms of sex therapy.

In one example, a therapist might encourage the couple as part of “homework” to gradually proceed to a situation where the man can ejaculate just outside his partner's vagina or anus depending on orientation of the couple, and eventually advance where he is able ejaculate inside his partner.

Sex experts Masters and Johnson suggest an alternative method:

  • Step one is where actual sex is “off limits” but affections like kissing and hugging are encouraged.
  • Step two is where the partner masturbates the guy who has difficulty ejaculating until he reaches orgasm - even if this takes a couple of hours. Yes, this sounds tiring but it’s all part of the process!
  • Step three, they move to a situation where he inserts his penis shortly before he climaxes.

Other Treatments for Ejaculation Difficulties


Because having difficulty ejaculating is such a sensitive, upsetting and frustrating issue for a guy, there are a myriad of outlets on the Internet trying to take advantage of this and take people’s money promising instant results. These should be approached with extreme caution and a guy should really only deal with their usual doctor who they can trust. This issue is nothing to be embarrassed about and it’s so important to remember that it can be helped and some of the treatments can turn out to be fun to try!