Using sex toys makes certain sexual enjoyment goals or sex skills much easier to do. There can be examples where a toy works very well to create a high level of pleasure to a primary erogenous zone. An effectiveness that brings about orgasm efficiently and sometimes with a unique version of that orgasm. By unique version I mean, your orgasm feels a bit different using that toy than when it comes toy-free. Using sex toys gives you more variety. More things to pick from on your ‘sex menu’.
Another good use for certain toys is they make a form of sexual stimulation possible that otherwise wouldn't be or much easier to do.
Sometimes people, either during solo sex or partner sex, will know they can give their partner or themselves a form of pleasure with the toy that without it they'd just have to do without. Why say no to better quality sex when you have the tools to create it? One example of this is your arms are too short to reach where you want to go and then provide effective repetitive stimulation that doesn't strain your joints or tire you out before you reach orgasm. G-spot stimulation and orgasm are much easier to create with certain toys than they are without them during solo sex.
Another use is enhanced capabilities given to one's body or genitals.
A man can use a cock ring to max out his erection size and strength. A woman can use a suction toy or sex device on both nipples (that never gets tired) to make her nips big and hot while simultaneously adding more sex pleasure from her nipples in with pleasure coming from other places directly linked to her orgasm. Why settle for just one erogenous zone taking the luvin' when you can do more? Another example is a butt plug for her that will give her a sexy full feeling there while a penis does its hot job inside her vagina.
Combining pleasure sources and methods like this is one of the cornerstones to what makes me good at sex. Imagine when you start adding it all up: him with a cock ring that maxes his cock out, double nipple suction that won’t stop, her favourite clitoral stimulation maybe provided by her favourite vibe, and a toy inside her bum to give her that pleasure plus making her vagina tighter for his enhanced penis.
These combos give you even higher quality sex and orgasms because they do the same thing for your sexual neurology that an orchestra does for music. You could play each instrument by itself, but it's a completely different reality when they join together as one.
This doesn't mean that your toy-free sex skills wait for their turn.
That guy with the cock ring is using his intercourse skills to perfection, his hands on the places they do their best, and maybe more! I always teach clients to use toy skills with non-toy. Use everything that works for that particular sex-dish.
I often refer to sex toys as the same thing to you in the bedroom as paints, brushes, and pottery wheels are to an artist in the studio. Or like pots, pans and utensils to a gourmet chef. They are your implements of creativity. Without them, the ooo's and ahhh's aren't the same. You need a soufflé dish to make that dynamite soufflé, no?
Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach who specialises in women's and men's sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex enhancement for adults.