How to Last Longer in Bed
What is Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
Premature ejaculation occurs when the male orgasms quicker than he and/or his partner would like. While there is no “right” amount of time that a man should “last”, on average men will last for five and half minutes of intense stimulation. Anything less than two minutes is generally considered to be “premature”.
This issue is more common than people realise and is something that could be deeply upsetting for both an individual and a couple’s relationship overall. The key point is that one should not be embarrassed about it and should in fact address the issue, discuss it with their partner and seek remedies to rectify it, be that through the methods outlined in this article or by seeking professional medical assistance. Left unaddressed, the situation is unlikely to improve or disappear and may even worsen.
How Many Men Suffer from Premature Ejaculation?
It is thought that up to one in three men in the UK suffer from PE at some level (source NHS). The condition is more prevalent among younger men and tends to subside with age.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
PE sufferers can be categorised as primary (lifelong) or secondary (acquired later in life). PE can have a multitude of different causes. Some of the main causes of PE are:
Anxiety / Nervousness
If a man is nervous that he will climax too soon or generally worried about sexual performance, this almost becomes self fulfilling as the more nervous he is, the more likely he is not going to be able to control the point of climax. It is thought earlier stressful sexual experiences (eg sexual abuse) can cause such anxiety.
Underlying Medical Condition
It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor about PE as it may be a symptom of an underlying medical condition.
Many men have conditioned themselves to orgasm quickly in order to avoid detection while masturbating as young men. This habit can be hard to break in later life.
Biological / Hereditary
Studies have shown that PE is often biological and caused by more sensitive than usual nerve endings. Some studies have also shown that the condition may be hereditary. From an evolutionary perspective, males who could climax more quickly were more likely to produce offspring and so evolution has likely played its part in the prevalence of PE.
How to Last Longer in Bed
The Distraction Method
The point at which a man ejaculates can often be as much about psychological stimulation as it is physical. Thinking about something totally unrelated to sex will usually delay the point of ejaculation quite considerably and ensure that you last longer in bed. Sport, gardening, what to wear tomorrow, what’s for dinner, basically anything that takes the mind off the fact that you are having sex! It is wise not to do this for too long however as if done for long enough, the erection can begin to weaken and even subside entirely.
The Stop Start Method
This is where males masturbate to the point of climax but stop just short on three occasions. On the fourth occasion, the man allows himself to climax. This method is thought to build control over when a man ejaculates thereby enabling him to last longer in bed. It also helps men to recognise their “point of no return” (the point after which not ejaculating is impossible) and how to stop just short of that point.
A Small Amount of Alcohol
A small amount of alcohol can help nervous men to relax, enjoy intercourse more and also last longer in bed. Obviously overdoing alcohol consumption can often prevent a man from getting an erection in the first place so this is to be avoided.
Many antidepressant drugs have the side effect (often unwanted) of delaying ejaculation. Priligy is one such drug marketed to men in the UK who suffer from PE. It is strongly advised to consult with your GP before taking any medication however as there are side effects and it is not suitable for everyone. Importantly this is a treatment as opposed to a cure as the medication must be taken a few hours before intercourse as its effect wears off in time ie this is merely treating the symptom not the cause of the premature ejaculation.
Speak to your GP
PE is extremely common so your GP will have good experience in this area and should be able to give you practical advice. Also, if the PE is a symptom of an underlying condition, your GP will be well placed to identify that.
Long Love Condoms
Developed by German scientists, Long Love or delay condoms contain the active ingredient, Benzocaine which helps to desensitise and slightly numb the man’s penis. Importantly the ingredient is on the inside of the condom only so that the lady’s vagina is not numbed and so she can enjoy full sensation.
The Masters Johnson Method
Developed by sex therapists William Masters and Virginia Johnson, this technique requires quite a degree of patience and persistence as it needs to be “practiced” over several weeks, even months. It works whereby a cooperative partner brings the man almost to the point of ejaculation but just before that point stops stimulating the penis but rather squeezes the tip by placing his/her thumb just below the tip of the penis and wrapping his/her fingers around the shaft. This “cancels” the orgasm and if done repeatedly over a long period of time can help a man to last longer. This technique is recommended to be carried out under the direction of qualified professionals as if not implemented correctly, it is unlikely to be effective.
If a male ejaculates quite quickly and his partner takes a long time to orgasm (as is usually the case) then the use of sex toys (in particular vibrators) can serve as a great way to keep your partner stimulated without bringing the male to an early climax ie the toys can serve as a temporary substitute for the man’s penis. Once the partner is highly aroused and almost at the point of climaxing, the toy can be replaced with the penis thereby enabling the man to bring his partner to orgasm with his penis; this is a great feeling for both partners as sex finishes with a penis induced climax.
Pelvic Floor Exercises
A study in Sapienza University of Rome showed very impressive results for pelvic floor exercises as a treatment for premature ejaculation. Participants in the study increased their average time to climax by 400% over a 12 week period thereby enabling them to last four times longer in bed. While the study was a relatively small one, this is certainly worthy of consideration as pelvic floor exercises are good for men even if they don’t suffer from PE.
So from reading this article if you suffer from PE, you will now recognise that there are a number of options open to you that can realistically attempt to improve your situation. We hope that one or a few of the above tips work for you and that you can get back to the fulfilling enjoyment of sex without the fear of an early climax.